Archive for September, 2006

Flushed in the Toilet

Saturday, September 30th, 2006

swirling around the turbin of hollow echoes, trying to hold on to something strong. how am i going to stop the drain from sucking me down to the septic tank of broken imaginations?

as i continuously move about the empty void, i can’t help but wonder why can’t the people around me stop me from falling deeper into the blackhole that sucks from underneath? they are trying to tell me something, but i can’t understand a thing they say. it all comes out as bubbles of murmurs that can’t escape from the water that drowns me.

i’m falling fast. dizzying questions keeps on echoing inside my head. same old questions, same old confusion. but still no definite answer.

someone tried to grab me, but i keep on losing grip. i keep on falling no matter how much i tried to pull myself up and grab that hand. i can’t grasp tight enough. i’m on my way deeper into the abyss of bittersweet misery.

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Seventeen

Saturday, September 23rd, 2006

i wish i’m 17 once again.

when everything was easy. when everything falls into place with a flicker of a finger. when i can easily sleep at 10pm. when i still dance along music videos. when nights were spent teasing a dormmate. when daydreams and butterflies were enough to fill up my fantasies. when contentment was only a dropcall away. when crushes immediately complete my day. when i can smile at the simplest things. when i can easily say i’m a-okay.

the time when i was contented with what i have. when i was naive about emotional destruction. when emails were seldom. when my friendster was without a testimonial. when i was innocent. when i was a kid. when i was unbroken. when i was naive. when i thought i was strong. when i thought i was still fine. when i was complete without anything or anybody. when i sleep tight without preoccupation. when everything i need was only a reach away. when i was verna that i want to be again.

when life was simple. when life was untangled. when life was easy to spend. when life was good. when life is uncomplicated, simply because i haven’t messed up with it yet.

sometimes i wish i just kept it that way. but i chose to jump into the cold water of the lake’s placid surface, and that’s when i realized life’s biting coldness. it shocked me for quite a while, as i shiver from the cold. but as i swam across the water, i got used to its piercing damtness, and eventually succumb to its temperature. i started to enjoy swimming, and the next thing i know, i don’t want to get out of the water anymore.

now, my conciousness is telling me to go back to the shore and dry myself. but even if i do, life wouldn’t be the same since the moment i took that dive.

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Plane on the Runway

Wednesday, September 20th, 2006

Here i am again — feeling a little disoriented after several unexpected turn of events in my boring life.

At least Kuya Mark was wrong when he told me that I would end up a cynic after some turning points in my teenage years. Right now, I wish I really turned out one - a cynic. Maybe I’d be spared from all the possible mushy crap that might happen again. I’ve gone through all that, and it’s not something worthwhile.

Although I miss those moments sometimes, since you have all the excuse to be really corny and cry over little memories that you hanged on to. Looking back at it, I can’t help but laugh at my own stupidity. Lol. But hey, here I am again - treading the path that could possibly end up where I’ve just taken off. Poof!

And the real question is, should I stop the plane while it’s still making it’s turn in the runway? Or should I just tighten my seatbelt and enjoy the wild ride that could end up in Alaska or Bahamas?

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