au naturel

infatuated. such word that i barely know the meaning. i was told i am — with you. i was caught defenseless, since it might be true. i rested my case and told them i like you, but i’m far from being in that state of incoherence.

it just bothers me, why do spend too much time thinking — about u. why do i care, when i don’t even know who you really are? i knew right from the start thay you tell things like they’re for real — you make everything sound real enough for it to be untrue. i believed you? no, i just hoped. i hoped that whatever comes out from your lips might be true — a benefit of a doubt that gave some shade to the black and white palette i kept cage. true enough, you splattered tiny dots of colors that gave it a little life.

now, i just entered the door to the space where there is no sense of now or tomorrow. a limbo trapped in the room filled with circles that pops nothingness in the air. i’m floating along with my thoughts. and i can see every single thing i’m thinking moving right before my eyes — like a dvd movie where i can just pause and think for awhile. the problem is, the remote control doesn’t work. so, every thing just rolls — right in front of me.

and there are moments that i catch myself reaching to that scene. i tried to get rid of it — to erase it from my memory. i tried to pop it, so its existence will be gone. but as i tried to grab it, it pops into tiny bubbles with that scene filling each tiny circle. it’s floating all around me, and it’s filling my senses with the emotion i tried to hide. it is making me weak.

i stagger, and i fall — deep down the pit of confusion. i just hope i hit the ground soon enough…

i know it’ll hurt. but please, just keep it real.