cursingitallout
i wish i could curse you out of my life. easy that might seem, but i couldn’t, since i want you in it. yes! i want you in my freaking life, dammit! can you believe that? i’m a walking contradiction, and this ain’t doing me any good. call me insane, but hell, i don’t care.
is that so hard?
no, it’s as easy as you-and-me-yes. but then again, no — it ain’t that easy! oh yeah, you’re in alright, but then again not exactly. you’re in the door, knocking your presence, yet you have no intention of entering. why the hell did you have to knock?
i was sleeping, and you woke me up. you knocked, and i opened the stupid door. there you were — smiling. smiling?! yes, you’re sick. why did you have to wake me up from my dream of peaceful reality? i might be numb and devoid of any feeling, but at least i wasn’t hurting. you? curse you! you brought me back to the world of uncertainty and confusion that i’ve just turned my back on.
lead me back to my haven? i’ve lost it.
you brought back all the things i’ve tried to bury and i’ve tried to forget. now, you linger in front of me. and you have the nerve to make me smile? you have the nerve to make me happy? why do you have to? why do you have to make me feel good, when i’m not supposed to want you? curse you.
you’ve disrupted my peace of mind, and i’m loving every single minute of it. can you believe that? i’m cursing over something i’m eventually succumbing to. i’m actually loving every moment of it, and this ain’t right. this ain’t doing any good. it - which means every little thing - it. IT might end up in the dump, and i don’t want to pick up the pieces from the freaking dumpsite. this may not make any sense, but it does to me. so, shut up.
look, i didn’t mean to be mean. i just want to know…
how can i tell you to get out of my life, when you’re not exactly in it?
how can i tell you to get out of my life, when i want you in it?
